It is so hot .........

• the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• the cows are giving evaporated milk.
• the trees are whistling for the dogs.
• you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
• you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• you can make instant sun tea.
• you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
• you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
• you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
• you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• hot water now comes out of both taps.
• it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
• no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.