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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Looking for calm

To be creative ,I require......clean studio, good coffee, ginger ale, Leonard Cohen, great pens,...peace of mind and pain free body. There I s work to be done here before anything happens.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013


On my way to the hot water tank this morning, I looked over my shoulder and saw......this.....What is this space and why am I so drawn to it? Somewhat familiar yet vague with memories it beckons  to me.....come, sit, dream, create.....I will be gentle.....

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Sun and golf

Well it appears the season has begun.....first golf guys through at 9 am this morning. It is officially planting time  in the Okanagan. Just not sure how I am going to be able to add that to the todo is full.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Just remember this....a kiss is not a kiss

So young, so beautiful, so handsome and so full of hope and dreams. We were in love and had been for 7 years and now faced a happy ever after married life.... and it was. We worked hard, loved 2 baby girls into our family and succeeded and failed at a plethora of projects but laughed, cried,and made life long friends. The promices were made in total niaviity and full of the egomania of youth. Nothing could touch us now we were a family.......then it did......loss of a child at 18,brain injury caused by a car accident at 45, cancer, chronic bone disease and now CIDP  causing paralysis, pain, muscle wasting and dispair of ever being whole again.. It has been a full and challenging life but this last crises has tested my basic trust in God, medical system and my own abilities to cope and get on with it. This time my body is sore, tired, and afraid. I need to trust my God more than ever.and feel at times hopeless and defeated. I know these thoughts are deadly... as light attracts light and visa versa.
I know today I have crumbled and fallen and had a pity party day of major proportions and that figure kneeling by my guys bedside, clutching my rosary  will be me apologizing for being weak and doubting that God is by my side and always has been and to just have faith...

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

The cranks are here

Hate mornings now. I am fighting the reality of 10 tasks needing to be done all at once before morning coffee. Lady Reality just smiles, enjoying my fumbles and crank attitude daring me to sort it out and make necessary changes together on with thenew normal.......hahahaha that's her laughing.....

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Tuesday night blues

Tuesday night has for years been the night the Dude is usually out for the evening. On Tuesdays, I eat what I like usually in bed watching the Housewives, sharing whatever the dish of the nite is with my little black girl Dula. Tonight I am so missing my Dula......someone will get me a puppy won't they?

Monday, February 18, 2013

Type A Personality Wins

Getting 2 people up dressed, fed, packed for breakfast, lunch, supper and loaded into a wheelchair equipped taxi for 8 am is a Supermom feat I have long since given up. I bow to you moms out there....I am exhausted. Not only do I need to do this in reverse order but must repeat it all again tomorrow. OMG my body is rebelling big time......I long for the beach....the sun....the Marguerita...the bare chested lad in his white cotton drawstring pants......Migile por favor.....

Saturday, February 16, 2013


I am sitting in front of the fireplace this early evening, listening to the soft voices of my dearest in the bedroom. She is giving his painful legs a light massage and he is gratefully accepting it  .and appreciating the gentle love it is given with. It is the lull before the storm of Monday and Tuesday and with a deep sigh, I give thanks for these two people around whom I have built this life. The last two days have been challenging to say the least as the flu bug hit the Dude in a big way and what hits him, hits us. He has placed an order for dinner....mashed potatoes, porcupine meatballs and creamed corn....a family comfort food. Oh...and a small dish of jello......I'm on it my love.....

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Good Week Coming

Tuesday morning....2 days until Valentines Day....can't wait our very own precious girl is arriving. I hope she finds things moving forward a bit more than when she left and comes brimming with ideas  to move us closer to health and mobility. Often it is right in your face simple changes that can make all the difference to comfort and function. She is our she is the brains and more than brains the heart behind so many lives. 51 hours 20 minutes until Valentines day.....hurry...Interested in how my guy is coming along click below site.

Lighten up it's an  adventure...The Comeback (The Dudes journey)

Monday, February 11, 2013

Family day

BC is celebrating our very first Family Day today. In honor of this holiday, I have spent the morning getting out my Valentines to my precious little family and to the new family I have acquired since this new crises has hit our lives. I would not be sitting here today if these loving generous people had not kept pace with the escalating crises and in spite of it came forward every day offering to help us. These are the Angels we all have in our lives but until something like this happens we never know if they will truly be there to lift us up. It is very hard to ask for is really hard for me as it is something I did for rather than had done to. These Angels of ours did not wait to be asked they just came and did.......Thank you, bless you and I will be sure to pay it forward.

For updates on the Dude go to this link.....Lighten up it's an adventure....the comeback.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

House keepers a keeper

She came gently into the house, briefly introduced herself, looked around and minutes later was standing in the shower cleaning the glass. I loved her instantly all quirky, jet black spiked hair and all.......She's a keeper.

Saturday, February 09, 2013


We tried our first wack at in home bath support only to learn the tub is not accessible by wheelchair even using the floor to ceiling pole.....back to the drawing board..... master bath Reno me thinks. My Dude stuck it out to the bitter end finally settling for the bed bath by some sweet young thing named Charmaine. He is such a trooper.

Thursday, February 07, 2013


That is the sound the month of January made as it swirled past me. Much Gratitude to the Universe allowing me to be here in our home together with my Love. Well me sitting him laying but together forever. They say the road to recovery from CIDP is slow and painful but that the recovery rate is good as long as you are persistent, patient and proactive. I have turned from the quiet, passive Madonnart to someone I hardly recognize. I am She Rah, warrior woman, standing guard at the gate protecting my Dude. Visualize a pale, exhausted looking senior in a body splint trying to disguise a very bad hair day. This journey has reinforced the blessing of family and friends and the way they lift you up when you are weary. It has reassured me that there is a higher being administrating my life and placing life lessons in front of me. I knew my failings but somehow allowed time to fly before facing them.......D Day is my face so to speak....and I AM DEALING. First on my To Do List is Selfishness........maaaaannnn is this a tough one. Thoughts?

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Mesa Vista West, Okanagan, Canada