It is so hot .........

• the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
• the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
• farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.
• the cows are giving evaporated milk.
• the trees are whistling for the dogs.
• you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
• you can say 113 degrees without fainting.
• you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
• you can make instant sun tea.
• you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
• the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.
• you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
• you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
• you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
• The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
• you discover that in July, it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
• you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• hot water now comes out of both taps.
• it's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
• you actually burn your hand opening the car door.
• you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.
• no one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
• your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
• you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

A science experiment with Dog Do

I am the designated Doggie Do Collecter in our family of 2.I am not counting the dog here people.The science part has happened since the weather got inhumanly hot.The little dog heads out to the front oven. Does her little four footed tap dance and drops her "Hurry up".She races for the door....needs immediately to receive her Good Girl treat and a drink of cold water with cubes added. She's parched from her brush with dehydration ....now.....now....now she screams and I, her eager slave comply. I head out with my little baggy to collect her gift and dispose. Now this is the science part, Dear Reader.....her "product" has changed properties....a solid to a dust.....no smell, easy clean up.....good girl.

Madonnart explains what went wrong with Tomkat

I was saddened and surprised at the pending divorce of these two Pretty People and like many, curious at what went wrong. They matched like cream and sugar, salt and pepper, a perfect duo and until yesterday I like you was clueless at why they split. Yesterday was my Aha moment.I was alone when the Epiphany happened....alone in a 400 person capacity movie theatre. Alone watching Rock Of Ages,Cruises newest movie release and pondering what would convince a true movie star it was in his best interest to star as a Rock Icon wearing a cod piece made up of a sparkling devil with a 10 inch extended tongue. But then I was pretty certain Alex Baldwin 's character....the aging newly realized gay club owner professing  his  love to Russel Brand was equally bad decision making. oh ....and the whole thing is a musical....?? And that's why I was alone in a 400 capacity theatre and Why Kate made a move to divorce Tom the same week his movie Rock Of Ages opened. And this has been Madonnart's Movie Moment, another PSA.....

Watching a good day go bad

This was a planned good day. A day I carefully designed to the point of preparing my dinner yesterday to eat in the comfort of air conditioned splendor while watching back to back "The Closer" episodes and finale. The Dude was heading into town about 2ish to a hot (37C) afternoon of Chiro....ich ....you're sweaty hot remember....picking cherries....you heard the temperature was 37 right and then a relaxing fellowship like evening with his Gyro buds. All the shenanigans I was going to get up to involved a Margarita, my dinner and The Closer possibly watched in my PJs....then the SHIT hit the fan....All plans were off, like in a nano second. new plans made without concern about comfort, pre planning or comfort. I was now no longer in Pjs, dinner stayed in the frig, Tequilla remained untouched and Kyra was left without her audience. I left the house at 3pm to go pick 2 hrs of cherries....then to sit in the HOT car waiting for the Dude to get adjusted (joke there but damn, I'm HOT),then off to meet friends to see Spiderman on Cheap Tuesday (yes there was waiting in line on hot reflecting concrete involved).Thank God the company was good and the theatre cool....then home to clean cherries....alot of cherries...... how was your day?

Defiantly ice less

What has happened to the old classic ,the Margarita ???I'll take this one my friends. Americans have descimated it. Turned it into an adult slurpy.A Popsicle for 30 somethings It is a travesty, a damned shame and I for one have had enough. Join with me Tequila lovers far and wide and press forward to drink our Margaritas iceless, slushless, pure as Don Pilar intended....Tequila,fresh lime,splash of Cointreau a touch of Agava and salted rim. Say it with me Dear Reader...NO FUCKIN ICE......mea culpa....excusee.....darn ice.....this has been a PSA brought to you by Madonnart.....

Worry Beads Madonnart Style

Where other cultures light candles, talk it out or draw intricate sand pictures, I sort, bag, box and rearrange. It is my "TELL".Last night an overwhelming urge came over me as I was assembling my pages of shoulder Physio diagrams...a well recognized drive to sort, bag, and rearrange. The area of choice....The Studio. So here I sit surrounded by my "really good shit"....a huge mass of stuff,that I now must make order of. What was I thinking? Right,I remember.....my compulsive reaction to worry.....damn...

Missing my Girls, and Guy.....hurry get here.....you make me laugh and smile....a lot....