Friday October 5

Yesterday I woke thinking the golf course had changed the driving range to the wall behind my bed. Moving to the front door was agony and the pounding was not going away but the little black dog known as Satans Spawn had to do her "hurry-up" and the man with whom I used to share a bed was snoring peacefully clutching his pillow in god knows what fantasy,oblivious to her whines. In- out seemed like hours, finally the little twirp returned. Happy, happy showing me all of her " give me treat tricks."..... I think....as by now my head was down the nearest loo, my stomach along with it. Now I am known to create riots of fear with the sound affects from my upchucking,even waking the comatose. I appeared to have woken the man who with all the empathy the love of my life possesses, shut the bathroom door with him on the other side. This was the man I trusted my life too. The one person I chose to see my vulnerabilities. I would have trusted him to guide me on a railroad platform with my eyes closed. Trust him to prepare my dose of medications, turn the gas off after I fell asleep. What a wake-up call. I am so certain of his devotion to me, I am going to trust him not to post the mail containing the contract on his life I have just signed.No wait, I am going to share my contaminated spit with him and wait.