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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Just remember this....a kiss is not a kiss

So young, so beautiful, so handsome and so full of hope and dreams. We were in love and had been for 7 years and now faced a happy ever after married life.... and it was. We worked hard, loved 2 baby girls into our family and succeeded and failed at a plethora of projects but laughed, cried,and made life long friends. The promices were made in total niaviity and full of the egomania of youth. Nothing could touch us now we were a family.......then it did......loss of a child at 18,brain injury caused by a car accident at 45, cancer, chronic bone disease and now CIDP  causing paralysis, pain, muscle wasting and dispair of ever being whole again.. It has been a full and challenging life but this last crises has tested my basic trust in God, medical system and my own abilities to cope and get on with it. This time my body is sore, tired, and afraid. I need to trust my God more than ever.and feel at times hopeless and defeated. I know these thoughts are deadly... as light attracts light and visa versa.
I know today I have crumbled and fallen and had a pity party day of major proportions and that figure kneeling by my guys bedside, clutching my rosary  will be me apologizing for being weak and doubting that God is by my side and always has been and to just have faith...

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Mesa Vista West, Okanagan, Canada