Looking for calm

To be creative ,I require......clean studio, good coffee, ginger ale, Leonard Cohen, great pens,...peace of mind and pain free body. There I s work to be done here before anything happens.

WTH is THAT!

On my way to the hot water tank this morning, I looked over my shoulder and saw......this.....What is this space and why am I so drawn to it? Somewhat familiar yet vague with memories it beckons  to me.....come, sit, dream, create.....I will be gentle.....

Sun and golf

Well it appears the season has begun.....first golf guys through at 9 am this morning. It is officially planting time  in the Okanagan. Just not sure how I am going to be able to add that to the todo list....it is full.

Just remember this....a kiss is not a kiss

So young, so beautiful, so handsome and so full of hope and dreams. We were in love and had been for 7 years and now faced a happy ever after married life.... and it was. We worked hard, loved 2 baby girls into our family and succeeded and failed at a plethora of projects but laughed, cried,and made life long friends. The promices were made in total niaviity and full of the egomania of youth. Nothing could touch us now we were a family.......then it did......loss of a child at 18,brain injury caused by a car accident at 45, cancer, chronic bone disease and now CIDP  causing paralysis, pain, muscle wasting and dispair of ever being whole again.. It has been a full and challenging life but this last crises has tested my basic trust in God, medical system and my own abilities to cope and get on with it. This time my body is sore, tired, and afraid. I need to trust my God more than ever.and feel at times hopeless and defeated. I know these thoughts are deadly... as light attracts light and visa versa.
I know today I have crumbled and fallen and had a pity party day of major proportions and that figure kneeling by my guys bedside, clutching my rosary  will be me apologizing for being weak and doubting that God is by my side and always has been and to just have faith...

The cranks are here

Hate mornings now. I am fighting the reality of 10 tasks needing to be done all at once before morning coffee. Lady Reality just smiles, enjoying my fumbles and crank attitude daring me to sort it out and make necessary changes together on with thenew normal.......hahahaha that's her laughing.....

Tuesday night blues

Tuesday night has for years been the night the Dude is usually out for the evening. On Tuesdays, I eat what I like usually in bed watching the Housewives, sharing whatever the dish of the nite is with my little black girl Dula. Tonight I am so missing my Dula......someone will get me a puppy won't they?

Type A Personality Wins

Getting 2 people up dressed, fed, packed for breakfast, lunch, supper and loaded into a wheelchair equipped taxi for 8 am is a Supermom feat I have long since given up. I bow to you moms out there....I am exhausted. Not only do I need to do this in reverse order but must repeat it all again tomorrow. OMG my body is rebelling big time......I long for the beach....the sun....the Marguerita...the bare chested lad in his white cotton drawstring pants......Migile por favor.....